On body image issues, mindset f*ed up by an eating disorder, tantra, and romance
Note: Dear reader, please note that this is an unedited version. The make-pretty stage comes once the whole thing, the book, is written. You are reading at your own risk of being amused, triggered, and nicely emotional. Enjoy and feel free to share your constructive feedback and thoughts with me (head over to Contact or DM me).
It was so monumental that I actually did not recognize a man I liked and was interested in, likes me, and is interested in me too. I did not allow any chance for him to pursue me romantically, simply because I was completely blind to his interest. I made myself blind by telling myself he could never be interested.
The background of this is that I really liked him. We met at the tantra yoga school at a mixed Shiva-Shakti group, a joint women and men circle with a spiritual context. The topic was relationships and intimacy and after the consecration, the initial meditation that was the beginning of each class, ceremony, or ritual, there were some exercises and discussions followed by an eye gazing practice.
I ended up paired with Ray.